Article: Men Who Think ‘Consent Videos’ Are The Answer To Sexual Assault Are Very Wrong
Natalie Gil, writer/blogger for the website refinery29.com and author of such award winning pieces as “I Thought My Life Was Going To End”: The Dangers Of Brazilian Butt Lifts”, and “Women Are Finally Talking About Creepy Driving Instructors – & I’m Not Surprised”, brings us a lovely article on how we’ve gone from “No means No” to “Yes means X, solve for X”.
So let us fisk through this bold declaration that women cannot, in fact, be believed, even when it captured on video.
A lot has been written and said about the difficulties of navigating sex and romance in this post-#MeToo world, in which many men claim to be confused about how to interact with women, but few solutions have been proposed so far.
No, men were confused about how to interact with women before #MeToo. Now we’re referring to having “protection” as an attorney on retainer, rather than a rubber.
One idea that has been floated, though, is “consent videos”.
Inevitable in our “Pics or it didn’t happen” age.
The ominous-sounding term
Consent is now ominous-sounding, folks.
is being used to describe a video of someone consenting to a sexual encounter.
Pretty sure it’s just a technologically superior adaptation of something for which feminists originally advocated.
In a recent article on the topic, the female author recalled being in the throes of passion when a man whipped out his smartphone and asked her to “quickly just say that you want to have sex with me”, before sex.
Whipped out his heaving, tumescent, glistening, smartphone…
Hot.
I hear its much nicer than an afternoon on the witness stand.
She also recalls the tale of an anonymous “friend of a friend” who met a “minor celebrity” on a night out and was asked to star in a consent video before they slept together, stating “her full name, that she was there of her own accord and that she consented to having sex with him,” because “his contract was very strict”.
Not surprised at all. When you’re a budding celebrity and hundreds of people are invested in your career, I imagine all kinds of legal protection is necessary. Imagine becoming a major star and having to get consent forms signed retrospectively. Sounds expensive.
By all accounts, the sexual encounters in question were consensual, yet these women’s experiences mark a worrying trend towards men trying to preemptively cover themselves in the event of an accusation of rape or sexual assault.
Those cads! How dare they defend themselves from a false rape accusation!
Consent videos bring up a lot of questions: are they necessary?
Yes. In cases like this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, etc.
Who do they benefit?
The innocent.
And would they even be considered evidence to prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that the accuser consented if they were presented to the police, lawyers and a jury?
Yes. Unless, of course, you don’t #believewomen.
Speaking to experts in law, social media and sexual violence, the verdict is clear: consent videos probably aren’t the answer.
The answer to what question? You’ve provided three questions so far and I’ve answered each one of them.
Instead of solving an issue, they throw up more problems, not least the fact that consent is an ongoing discussion and it won’t always be clear which specific acts the person on camera is consenting to (they may want to have vaginal sex with a condom but not anal sex, for example).
So…make the woman describe all the sexual activities she prepares herself to engage in? Fine with me. But weren’t you just cringing at the idea that you’d have to make a consent video a minute ago?!
Durham University law professor Clare McGlynn, who specializes in sexual violence and image-based sexual abuse, says that in a case of alleged rape, a consent video is only ever going to be one part of a broader range of evidence going before a jury. “This is because consent is ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time. Therefore, a video may record ‘consent’ but the situation may then change and consent is withdrawn.”
Hm…looks like we’re going to have to record THE ENTIRE EXPERIENCE!!
That way, we she says “I withdraw consent”, you can do a handstand back-spring off the bed, rush to the corner of the room, look right into the camera and say “I respect your decision.”
Then wink. The jury will love it.
There’s also a risk that the “consent” is given under duress or coercion, and is therefore not free and valid consent, McGlynn explains to Refinery29.
Well, one could simply show that you’re not holding a gun on her, and that she has a free path to an open door. Maybe some romantic questions like “Have I threatened you? Are you under duress? Do you feel you can leave at anytime?” would be a good idea. Just how bureaucratic do you want this to be exactly?
“There is a danger, therefore, that in considering whether we should be recording consent, we are distracted from focusing on what we should all want and encourage – enthusiastic consent that is clear and free.”
And completely alleged.
Now, which side is your best side? I’ve got to get this tripod set up and everything in focus.
Dr Bernie Hogan, a senior research fellow at Oxford University’s Internet Institute, doesn’t believe consent videos have a future, and says they certainly won’t become mainstream. “My initial thought is that it’s probably not very prevalent, and it’s certainly not very prevalent for someone the second time they try to have sex with someone – because they probably wouldn’t get that far. However, I do think that it identifies an important anxiety,” he says.
I dunno Bernie. These kids today do nothing but play with their phones!
He also reminds us that we shouldn’t think technology can solve all our problems.
I fail to see how it doesn’t solve this one. Or at a minimum, it certainly helps the defendant. Probably doesn’t help prosecuting attorneys.
We can’t turn things that we can’t encode, like consent, into technology.
You don’t know what encode means, do you? And if it’s something that is relevant to a court case, it most certainly CAN be recorded and documented.
Consent “resists encoding and in many ways that might be a reason why it forms such an anxiety for men,” Hogan says. The only technological solution to the problem that could work would be “continuous surveillance”, not a consent video per se, but filming the whole encounter, he suggests.
HAHA! I’m swear I’m reading this along with you, folks. Bernie, you’re alright! Tell us more!
“I don’t think everyone is going to do that, but I think some people would. People taking a phone, putting it on the nightstand and filming it is plausible. Some people will find that sexually arousing, others will find that terrifying.”
I find police cars, jails, courtrooms, unemployment and social expulsion terrifying.
But of course, not everyone is going to agree to that, particularly on a first or second encounter.
A few decades ago, the girls wouldn’t even sleep with you until you had promised to marry them. Then they expected you to marry them if they got pregnant. Compared to those standards, refusing to give a two-minute consent video is a standard that will fall much, much easier.
The view on consent videos from the charity Rape Crisis’ perspective is also clear. Katie Russell, spokesperson for Rape Crisis England & Wales, describes the concept as “deeply troubling” and says it perpetuates the lie that most reports of sexual assault are false.
Does the rate of false reporting have to hit 51% before it’s a problem?
“It suggests both a complete lack of understanding of what consent is and isn’t, and that the social myth – and it is absolutely a myth – that women, in particular, routinely lie about having been raped or sexually assaulted is as ingrained and widespread as ever.”
It’s a social myth that everyone is routinely infected with STD’s. So don’t use condoms, kids!
Consent is not a “grey area”, she highlights. On the contrary, it’s clearly defined in law: a person consents to sex and/or sexual activity when they agree by choice, and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Translation: “Consent means whatever women want it to mean. Even if it means something different from what the woman in question herself would indicate.”
Yeah, that’ll work great. Go long in Robot Companion industries, gentlemen. You’ll make so much money, you can afford to get married…to a robot.
She acknowledges, however, that while consent is a “clear concept” in theory, it’s not always clear-cut in reality.
So it’s a “grey area”. Trying to decide if Katie Russell is stupid or just criminally negligent.
Someone may be “scared, threatened or coerced into saying ‘yes’ to sex, for instance, and that would not equal their consent because they hadn’t made a free choice.”
So how does filming them consenting not help?
Like McGlynn, she emphasizes that consent is far from static. It’s “a ‘live’ concept and an ongoing conversation,” she adds.
So we should livestream the videos too? Makes sense. Stops nefarious guys from editing anything out. Can we take donations on this stream, or is that a bridge too far? All this camera equipment is expensive.
“Someone might freely consent to sex – and even be recorded doing so – one moment, and the very next moment change their mind, or lose their capacity, because they fall asleep, for instance, and consent would instantly be gone, and sexual activity with that person would then be a very serious criminal offense.”
No chance of that! I’ve got the best Key Grip and Lighting guy in the business! Here are your director’s notes and If you’re hungry afterwards, feel free to nosh at our craft services table!
Instead of whipping out their smartphones,
Glistening, tumescent, heaving…
then, Rape Crisis believes “men would be better off spending their time communicating with their sexual partners throughout their encounters, checking in with them at regular intervals to make sure their partner is equally comfortable with what’s happening between them.”
Unless you have an attention-seeking psychopath in your bed. The problem is, they look just like regular women. But even in the best of circumstances ladies, prepare to be bombarded with “Do you still consent? How about now? Now? Still now? How about now?”
No, video consent is good ideas given our insane circumstances. As soon as it is the deciding factor in a few high-profile court cases, it’ll be as engrained in our culture as popping into the bathroom to “freshen up” or “playing with your keys” at the door.
It’ll start, as this article suggests, with celebrities. Soon it will transfer to upper management of all major corporations, lucrative artists, high profile attorneys, (the men who women want to sleep with and who have the most to lose) and eventually, to the middle class.
Perhaps little “consent corners” will become a rage and give a decorative backdrop to every young man’s apartment foyer, where frisky girls can pose, smile, and affirm their consent. Pretty soon, consent vids will be auto sent to everyone’s friends on the new consent-affirming social app: Twitterpated!
Going to Vegas for a sales convention? Did you get a consent video from the girl in the bar? Good, file that with HR, in case she decides to sue. Nice work on that contract!
You didn’t get a consent video, Frank? Oh dear. Well…let’s keep our fingers crossed. Two weeks and you should be in the clear. Damn, bro! I really like to live dangerously!
In short, this is going to be in middle America very soon. Better get ready folks!